Decide to Be a Good Queen

If you want to be married to a king, you have to decide to be a good queen. ~ Terri Brady

I had the privilege of seeing one of my favourite bloggers speak a couple of weeks ago and thought I’d share some of her thoughts with you for the Monday Morning Bragging Wife.  Is it technically a brag?  No.  But bear with me.  It’s more of a brag on training session.

Becoming a Good Queen

How do we become a good queen?  She said it right there.  You decide.  Once the decision is made, we have to take action to become that good queen.

Terri’s saying could be said another way:

If you want to have something to brag about, you have to decide to be something to brag about.

So, she didn’t just say “Do this!”. She tore down a list of actions that, if you do them, will make a big difference.


This is the list that I took in my notebook:

  1. Initiate a great time in the bedroom.
  2. Email him listing the top three things you love about him.
  3. Make a scrapbook or poster of his dreams.
  4. Ask: “What can I do to make your day go better today?”
  5. Feed him what he wants.
  6. Forgive quickly.
  7. Write his dreams on the mirror.
  8. Take care of you.
  9. Let him be his own boss.
  10. Throw a Yeah, Daddy! party.
  11. Be his advocate when speaking to your children. Tell them “Daddy’s heart is _____.”
  12. Initiate a great time in the bedroom.
  13. Don’t keep score of who has more free time.
  14. Show up at the door in sexy lingerie.
  15. Protect his time.  Check before scheduling appointments or answering the phone.
  16. Stop what you’re doing when he comes home and treat him like you’re happy to see him.
  17. Don’t wait for your spouse’s encouragement.  Live the disciplined life with or without his encouragement.

Now, I know some of these will rub some women the wrong way.  And I know that these will be easier if your husband is already behaving in a somewhat kingly fashion.  But this isn’t a chicken or egg question unless we want our happiness to rest on someone else’s behaviour.

We, as women, have enormous power to affect how our men treat us.

It may take a long term commitment to doing the queenly behaviours before we get even a glimpse of the king sitting across the dinner table.  But aren’t  we in a long term – lifetime even – commitment anyway?  If we’re going to plug away at it for a lifetime, the least we can do is bring our A game.

The Brag

I said I didn’t really have a brag for this morning.  But I do.  While I typed this list out from my notes, the corresponding thing that a man could do popped into my mind.  And, Lenny does a lot of them well.  Those that he struggles with, he works on with intention.

Are there any of the things on this list that you’re good at?  Which ones challenge you?  Please share so we can all lift each other up.


Why I Love My Husband

photo credit: erika.tricroche via photopin cc

4 thoughts on “Decide to Be a Good Queen

  1. LOL! Number one is helpful and, let me tell you, the crowd sure errupted when she listed it again at number 12! Silent prayers of ‘Thank you, Terri’ went up from many men in the auditorium, I’m sure.

    I have no doubt that you’re working on it, Fawn. Associating – albeit electronically – with a group of women who ‘get it’ is so rewarding. My added prayer is that I can reach some women to whom this is a new and foreign concept.

    Have a great day and keep up the good work over at the!


  2. I have become good at encouraging and appreciating, respecting, honoring. And boy, does he appreciate it!
    This is a terrific list. I’m going back to read your post again.


    1. Thanks so much for reading, Carol!

      I loved this list when I heard it. And the response of the crowd when, with an innocent smile, Terri repeated number one again at number twelve was priceless! I’m laughing now as I remember it.


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